7 Self-love Intentions for Singles
There can sometimes be a tendency to presume that everything would be ‘better’ if only we were with ‘Mr or Mrs Right’. No-one is a stranger to fantasizing about meeting that ‘perfect’ person.
However, if we are really honest with ourselves, many romantic relationships are based on need. Putting aside the initial chemistry, there is anticipation (usually unconscious) or having certain needs met by the other person. Many relationships can quickly become co-dependent as each party falls into a comfortable pattern of interaction.
We all long to feel a deep intimate connection with another. Yet have you ever wondered why you may be moving directly from one relationship to the next and experiencing the same blocks to intimacy? We can fall into the trap of basing our self-worth on how attractive someone else finds us.
If you are preparing for a new love relationship, please consider the following:
1) You can only love and accept someone to the degree you love and accept yourself.
Your relationship with you creates the filter through which you perceive everyone else. How much effort do you invest in you? What are your feelings about yourself? When you can accept yourself, warts and all, you will be much more able to extend this courtesy to others.
2) Get to know yourself
How well do you know you? How much time do you spend tuning into your heart? Consider how much energy we focus on someone else when we start a new relationship. So much effort is made with being attentive to the other person’s needs. Imagine if we invested a fraction of this time in getting to know ourselves. Our lives would be transformed beyond recognition.
3) Clean up the past
Heal any past hurts. This includes outstanding issues with how you feel about your parents. Your beliefs and feelings about them colour how you relate to everyone, whether you are aware of it or not. This is your foundational blueprint. Whatever difficulty you may have in accepting a certain aspect of your parent’s personality, is influencing how you see all men, women and yourself.
4) What do you most need from you?
What are your desires? Take some time and seriously ask yourself. Don’t project these onto someone else. Any satisfaction can only be short-lived when we are abdicating responsibility for our own happiness. There is nothing more repellent than someone who seems ‘needy’ or ‘desperate’. No-one finds that attractive, unless they are insecure and looking for someone equally unbalanced.
5) What do you need to embody to attract your ideal relationship?
When you respect yourself like someone you love, you send out positive signals about how you wish to be treated. It’s pointless stating that you want to attract someone who is honest, if you can’t be honest with yourself. Be the kind of person you wish to meet. The more specific you are about these qualities, the more you can become aware if there is anything within you that needs to be addressed. We all have unconscious sabotage patterns and the more you observe your own behavior, the more aware you will become.
6) Believe that you deserve a beautiful loving relationship
Yes you do. All the wishing and hoping in the world will make no difference if you don’t truly believe that a loving relationship is possible. Focus on what you have to offer, which is so much. Don’t settle for something less, just for the sake of being with ‘someone’. It is not fair to you or to the other person. Let them go with love. Keep trusting and moving forward with an open heart.
7) Don’t put your life on hold
If there are places you dream of travelling to and activities that you’ve always wanted to try, do it. Don’t wait until ‘you have someone to do them with’. You are more likely to attract someone likehearted if you are enjoying your life, making the most of each day and taking steps towards your dreams. Book yourself a romantic holiday for one. Invest in the most important lifelong relationship you’ll ever have – the one with yourself.